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GETTING BACK TO THE TABLE
Taking stock in the importance of eating together.
WRITTEN BY LAUREL KERR
PHOTOS BY CANDICE NYANDO
When you think of a family sitting down together around the table for dinner, you may picture old sitcoms such as Leave it to Beaver. Dad comes home after a long day at work and the family enjoys a hot meal together. These days, eating dinner as a family seems like a ritual of the past. With the world becoming faster and faster paced, after-school sports, late workdays, and long commutes are taking over the all-important evening hours families used to spend together. Instead of eating healthy meals at home, families are eating fast food on the run.
But eating together as a family produces many benefits, and even in today’s busy world, it should be a priority. Recent studies by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University show that when families eat dinner together, they eat healthier, including more fruits and vegetables and fewer fried foods and trans fats. Respondents to their survey of 1,000 teens and 829 parents of teens reported that most children and teens who eat dinner with their families tend to earn better grades and are less likely to be overweight or use cigarettes, alcohol, or illegal drugs. Parents who eat dinner at the table with their children have the opportunity to talk to their kids more. As a result, parents are more likely to hear about serious problems their kids experience. There often is less stress and tension at home as well, because families are communicating more.
In addition to appreciation for the value of food and the work that goes into preparing it, many social elements come into play when families share meals, according to Miriam Weinstein, author of The Surprising Power of Family Meals. The dinner table can be the perfect environment in which kids learn how to conduct conversations, observe good manners, serve others, listen, resolve conflicts, and compromise.
Keep it Simple
How can over-extended families get back to the table? The best way is to keep it simple. The ultimate goal is to get everyone to the dinner table for quality time, not to create a Martha Stewart-inspired meal or to turn Mom into June Cleaver.
Here are some ideas:
• Start small by setting a goal, such as eating dinner together twice a week.
• Make simple meals and incorporate lots of fruits and vegetables.
• Get the whole family involved in the meal: planning, setting the table, and cooking together. Teaching children basic cooking, baking, and food preparation skills helps them learn to be self-sufficient, and gives them ownership of the meal.
• On nights when everyone is extra busy, plan ahead and make a meal in the slow cooker, so that when everyone gets home for dinner, it’s ready.
• Keep TV, phones, and technology on hold until after the meal. This is a time for listening to one another, sharing stories from the day, and nurturing the family connection. Everything else can wait.
At our house, with two young children and their various sports practices to attend, homework, lunch making, and the like, we make family dinners a priority so that we can constantly check in with each other — asking about daily happenings at home, school, or work. On busy nights, I use my slow cooker, so when everyone gets home, dinner is easily on the table in minutes and we can sit down and talk about the day. On nights when it is not as crazy in our house, the kids always help make dinner and set the table. At ages 7 and 4, they love to have jobs and feel included in the preparation. Our two kids have always been good eaters, which my husband and I attribute to their help in the kitchen. They know what is going into the meal and, when they help make it, they are more likely to eat it. Our son loves to help chop vegetables for a salad, and our daughter enjoys adding them to the bowl, usually sneaking a few to munch on in the meantime.
It’s inevitable that as our kids get older, their schedules will get even busier and more complicated. However, it is our hope as parents that by starting and keeping this tradition while they are young, they will want to continue making it a priority later on.
One of the best ways for parents to stay connected to their kids and be involved in their lives is having regular dinners together as a family. It may seem like a practice of the past, but it’s important that it remains a part of our future.
Laurel Kerr is a local full-time mom of two, a sometimes-freelance writer, and a total foodie. She loves to cook and eat with her two funny kids and superstar husband.
