EClampusVitas05

Fall 2018 | Feature

Appetite for Absurdity

Clampersโ€™ cookinโ€™ is best served with a side of history.

written by Eric Cachinero
photos by Asa Gilmore

Beer is a well-used secret ingredient employed by everyone from celebrity chefs to backyard grill masters. But it is never utilized more than by the men of the Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus. For them, beer also is the secret ingredient that fuels the organization itself.

You may recognize these men โ€” donning their signature red shirts and badge-clad leather vests โ€” frequenting Nevada watering holes and areas of historical significance, but, to many, the nuts and bolts of the not-so-secret society remain somewhat of a mystery. E Clampus Vitus members refer to themselves as Clampers, but what is a Clamper?

The textbook recipe for a Clamper is as follows: In a mildly rusted, cast-iron cauldron, simmer several sizeable slops of western U.S. history, throw in some absurdity al dente, season generously with a few dashes of philanthropy, steep with a couple historical plaques, and, of course, donโ€™t skimp on the secret ingredient. Serve warm with a side of steak and beans.

And if that recipe isnโ€™t to your liking, maybe look to the ECV motto to understand what the group is all about: Credo quia absurdum, or โ€œI believe because it is absurd.โ€

Beau Valory, cook for Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827, with steaks for a Clamper feast
Beau Valory, cook for Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827, with steaks for a Clamper feast

Half-Baked History
E Clampus Vitus was birthed by a practical joker from Virginia named Ephraim Bee in the mid-1800s. It made its way west to the California gold fields and the Comstock during the historic gold and silver rushes of the mid- to late-1800s.

In those days, members of secret societies such as the Masons and the Oddfellows often donned fancy suits, strutting through the mining camps, boasting their wealth and status, and turning their noses up at the droves of miners, who were considered second-class citizens. E Clampus Vitus, on the other hand, became a source of brotherhood and camaraderie for the mining class and a way to lampoon the wealthy secret societies.

Members of ECV substituted ritzy ensembles with plain red union suits, and fancy brooches and pins with beer-can cutouts. The group provided an escape from the hardships of mining life and embraced a lighthearted and facetious nature.

In 1956, the Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827 began in Douglas County, Nev., and Alpine County, Calif., before the addition of several other Nevada chapters. The modern organization embraces the groupโ€™s original principles โ€” charity, brotherhood, and satisfactory absurdity โ€” and also creates and places informative plaques at some of the Westโ€™s most historically significant locations.

Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827 Cook Crew. From left, Jordan Smith, DJ Kiltz, Bryce Lister,
Jesse Hellwinkel, Beau Valory, Jeff Loflin, John Pool, Josh Gardner, Eric Cachinero
Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827 Cook Crew. From left, Jordan Smith, DJ Kiltz, Bryce Lister, Jesse Hellwinkel, Beau Valory, Jeff Loflin, John Pool, Josh Gardner, Eric Cachinero

Cockamamie Cuisine
Clampers also love food and are pretty good at making it in colossal quantities.

Each ECV chapter aims to erect at least one historical plaque in its respective geographical location each year, and when they do, members โ€” often by the hundreds โ€” attend and indulge in a weekend camping trip referred to as a โ€œdoins.โ€ Someoneโ€™s got to feed hundreds of hungry Clampers, and thatโ€™s where each chapterโ€™s cooking crew comes in.

โ€œThe food is usually pretty traditional and fares well in my book,โ€ says Jeremy โ€œSpoonโ€ Wilson, noble grand humbug of the Snowshoe Thompson Chapter. โ€œYou canโ€™t beat a hearty steak and beans after a long day of Clamping.โ€

He explains that the spread is never too gourmet but always scrumptious. You can expect to see the Clampersโ€™ famous steak and beans served alongside bagged salad, dinner rolls, and potatoes, paired perfectly with a can of beer (and sometimes something stiffer).

And if you still donโ€™t understand the ethos of E Clampus Vitus at this point, โ€œSpoonโ€ offers these parting words: โ€œWith enough spirits, Clampers will eat just about anything.โ€

Eric Cachinero is a native Nevadan, associate editor of Nevada Magazine, and member of the Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827 of the Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus. He prefers his steak and beans served on a paper plate and his Nevada history neat.

The finished Clamper feast: New York steak, spicy beans, potatoes, fresh salad, and a glass of moonshine
The finished Clamper feast: New York steak, spicy beans, potatoes, fresh salad, and a glass of moonshine
PBR BEANS
The finished Clamper feast: New York steak, spicy beans, potatoes, fresh salad, and a glass of moonshine
Servings: 8 servings
Author: Jordan โ€œO-Ringโ€ Smith, grand noble recorder, Snowshoe Thompson Chapter 1827 of the Ancient and Honorable Order of E Clampus Vitus in Douglas and Alpine counties

Ingredients

  • 4, 16- ounce cans pinto beans drained
  • 2 cups chicken broth
  • 6, 12- ounce cans Pabst Blue Ribbon beer
  • Tony Chachereโ€™s Creole Seasoning to taste
  • Cavenderโ€™s All-Purpose Greek Seasoning to taste
  • Some garlic
  • 1 pound bacon chopped
  • 1 yellow onion chopped
  • Worcestershire sauce to taste
  • Garlic salt to taste

Instructions

  • Fry bacon in pan on medium heat. As bacon cooks, open one beer and drink. In large pot, add onion and garlic, cook on medium heat until aromatic, then add cooked bacon. At this point, you should be done with your first beer. Add 1 can of beer to pot, and open one for yourself. Bring pot to simmer; add chicken broth. Finish beer. Open beer. Take several drinks. Add Greek and Creole seasonings along with garlic salt. Add beans and several dashes of Worcestershire. Open beer and drink. Stir beans, simmer, drink, and repeat until all beer is gone. Enjoy beans. If beans taste bad and you donโ€™t have a buzz, you did it wrong.

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