Short-Order Dad
From left, The Silva Family includes Aidan, 10; Steve; Graham, 9; Katie; Charlotte, 4; and Avery, 9. Here, they pose in their kitchen on a Wednesday night. Steve has made ground turkey tacos for the family and put the ingredients together on the kitchen island so everyone can build their own tacos
The chaotic art of feeding six mouths before bedtime.
Steven (better known as Steve) Silva compares himself to a short-order cook when he’s making dinner for four children, ages 4 to 10, and his wife, Katie, director of digital marketing and communications at the Peppermill Resort Hotel in Reno. He might start making a meal that he likes, but his 4-year-old wants Dino nuggets, the twins want tuna fish sandwiches, and the oldest wants macaroni and cheese. He does his best to accommodate the demands and prepare everyone’s dinners simultaneously.
Silva is a real estate attorney by day, negotiating deals ranging from leases, building deals, eminent domain, and adverse possession to multibillion-dollar acquisitions and litigation. He also occasionally serves as a judge pro tem at the Reno Municipal Court. That means the court calls him temporarily to substitute for full-time judges on misdemeanor cases.
“One of the reasons I like Reno Municipal Court is that it’s set up to actually help people,” Silva says about many of the programs available. “Most of the people who come through are good people who maybe made bad decisions, and the goal is to get them some help so they can get square with society, even if that means imposing serious consequences.”
Back at home, Silva approaches dinner with a similar inclination toward fairness, applying one of three methods each night, he says.
“It’s not like I’m an attorney, so I negotiate my dinners,” he says. “It’s more that I like consensus in my professional life, and everyone makes a deal and comes out OK. That same kind of wiring leads me to want the kids to be happy with a meal.”
For dinner method one, Silva will make what he wants — for example, lobster piccata with linguine or air-fried sablefish — and if the children balk, they all get something simple they want, such as sandwiches or even cereal.
Method two includes a negotiation round, when he has enough time to discuss the options with everyone.
“I try to have a constructive dialogue and get their input,” he says. “It doesn’t always work out, if someone wants a thing I don’t want to make or we don’t have the ingredients. Sometimes the negotiations aren’t successful, and someone must eat something they don’t love. But, usually, if they can get to their third or fourth choice, it works out.”
A shredded rotisserie chicken, topped with cheese and baked into crescent rolls, pleases the masses, especially if everyone can nosh on the chicken while the oven preheats. Turkey tacos also work well because Silva can buy a three-pound value-size ground turkey log, cook it all, and make a buffet on the kitchen island.
“The eating of food [in our home] is very functional,” he says. “We don’t sit down too much together for formal family meals. As stuff comes out, I’ll give it to a kid, and they’ll go sit at a table, and then they’ll eat it, come back, and give me the dishes.”
Method three is the hail Mary approach. If no one can agree on what they want, and Katie and Steve are exhausted from a hard day, it’s time to order delivery.
“Pizza is the universally agreed-to outcome,” he says.
Managing the schedules and extracurricular activities of four children of varying ages doesn’t allow for as much structure or designated food nights, such as Taco Tuesday or Fish Friday. Besides, Silva says, he would find that a little boring, even though he envies friends who make elaborate family meals on a schedule.
“It tends to be a bit of a free-for-all,” he says. “We start talking about dinner on the way home, and we all go to bed pretty early. So [the kids] finish eating by 6:30 p.m. so they can go to bed at a reasonable time.”
What are three things in your fridge right now?
- Fromager d’Affinois (a French soft cheese)
- Two gallons of milk
- Trader Joe’s Sriracha tofu
Ingredients
- 1 large onion chopped
- 1 green pepper chopped
- 1 carrot shredded
- ¼ pound mushrooms sliced
- 3 cloves garlic minced
- ½ cup celery sliced
- 3 tablespoons olive oil
- 1, 28- ounce can diced tomatoes
- 1, 8 ounce can tomato sauce
- 1 teaspoon fresh basil crumbled
- 1 bay leaf
- 1 teaspoon salt
- ¼ teaspoon pepper
- 1½ pounds swordfish or halibut steak
- 1½ pounds clams in shells
- 1½ cups dry white wine
- 1 pound medium shrimp peeled
- 1 pound scallops
- 10, 4- ounce small lobster tails
- 1 pound crab meat
- 2 tablespoons minced parsley
Instructions
- In a Dutch oven, sauté green peppers, onions, celery, carrots, mushrooms, and garlic in olive oil until soft. Stir in tomatoes, tomato sauce, herbs, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat. Cover and simmer 2 hours. While liquid is simmering, soak clams under running water.
- After 2 hours of simmering, add wine, fish, shrimp, crab, lobster, and scallops to Dutch oven. Simmer, covered, for 10 minutes, then add clams. Steam until shells open, about 5 to 10 minutes. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.
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